Pigeon on a line
Pigeon on a line
By Rev. Thomas More Garrett, O.P.
Chaplain, Men’s Ice Hockey
My teammates in the box are probably calling me a pigeon by now. In over a minute of action, I have shown neither speed nor direction.
Pigeon is a pejorative term in this sport. No one here wants to be a pigeon. You probably work with a few pigeons. They are the people phoning it in and quitting quietly.
Pigeon isn’t the worst of the feathered animals one could be called in this sport. The flamingo is inferior to a pigeon because a flamingo lifts its leg in front of a speeding biscuit. The elevation of the leg is the instinctive sign of a timid soul. If your son or daughter is a flamingo, have them take ballet.
In my sport, flamingos are likely to end up dusters. I’ve never been a flamingo, and most days I’m not a pigeon either, so I’m at little risk of being a duster. A duster might get invited to a celly, but a duster will be kept clear of the gong shows. And even after a celly, the duster is still a hoser.
If I stay in pigeon-mode for the remainder of my line time, I’m likely to get invited to a yard sale, where I’ll have my bucket popped off and my pillows scattered.
Yikes! I just heard a clapper. I’m relieved when I look up and see that this game is still an egg. Our blueliners are
top cheddar and the guy in the net is no sieve.
I’m not at my best today, but I can still manage an effective dangle. But with dangles, you must be careful. Otherwise, you’ll end up in the sin bin.
What you want in this game is apple, biscuit, gino — in that sequence. But my wingers and I will be having no picnic on this shift. It’s time for a line change.
Glossary
Apple: An assist; pass that leads to a goal
Blueliners: Defenders
Biscuit: Puck
Bucket: Helmet
Celly: Celebration following a goal
Clapper: Slapshot
Dangle: Skillful maneuver of puck around defender or goalie
Duster: Player who doesn’t get much playing time
Egg: 0-0 score
Flamingo: Player who lifts one leg to get away from a shot
Gino: Goal
Gong Show: Chaotic, out-of-control game
Hoser: Loser, unskilled player
Pigeon: Player who can’t create scoring opportunities and relies on other players to
feed him pucks
Pillows: Leg pads
Sieve: Goal tender who lets up a lot of goals
Sin Bin: Penalty box
Top Cheddar: Shooting the puck into the top corner of the net
Wingers: Players who play in the forward position along outer sides of rink
Yard Sale: Player is hit so hard he leaves equipment behind on the ice
Rev. Thomas More Garrett, O.P. is executive vice president and chief operating officer at Providence College. In addition to serving as chaplain for men’s ice hockey, he teaches management in the School of Business.
