October 22, 2024
A Chaplain’s Thoughts: Patience
By Rev. James F. Quigley, O.P. ’60
Associate Chaplain, National Alumni Association
Perhaps one of the most patient persons I have met was a young man named Marty Graham. He was my student at Providence College and over four years we became friends. In high school Marty was diagnosed with cancer in his hip. That did not stop him, and he continued his high school and college education. He maintained an active social, academic, and social life and did some traveling.
Just before his 1992 commencement, Marty’s cancer surfaced again, leading to the amputation of his leg and the realization that he would not survive. I visited him a month before he died and also celebrated his funeral, near Chicago.
In one conversation I asked Marty if he ever became angry with God. He said he was angry in the beginning of his illness, but he reconciled with God. He told me he couldn’t be angry any longer with God because so many other people had it much worse than he. Marty did not complain and was a brave and patient man.
No one can easily understand human suffering nor solve the mystery of suffering. Neither can one justify pain. But I believe it is never wasted and, if we let it, such suffering can teach us the kind of people we are, what is really important, and where to turn to for help. It can teach us to see in a new way. Suffering and revelation are connected if we have patience.
Patience is a virtue that teaches us how to be calm in the midst of stress, trials, and provocations. Patience is endurance, not stoic resignation. It is a free, active, and deliberate choosing to endure an unavoidable affliction and not be conquered by it. A patient person clearly recognizes the agonies that life can bring but refuses to be discouraged or shaken by them. Patience is an internal quality, a character trait, a virtue that produces calm in the face of chaos, peace in the face of pain, and strength in a time of disaster.
Patient people endure because they live with the hope of a world without end, a world beyond sorrow and affliction. Jesus has promised: “I have come that you may have life, life in abundance.” You can really get through anything if you believe that.
Marty Graham’s friends established a scholarship in his memory to the benefit of many students over the past several years. Those generous benefactors were honored at an October 18, 2024, event announcing the public phase of Beyond Limits: The Campaign for Providence College. The Marty Graham Scholarship is one of more than 600 endowed scholarship funds that support Providence College students.
