October 25, 2014
Thomas Fascia ’03 named National Big Brother of the Year
Thomas J. Fascia ’03 has a knack for making others feel good. Even cranky, sleep-deprived 6-year-olds.
It was 2006 when Fascia, a fledgling Big Brother with a northern New Jersey chapter of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, met Little Brother, Amir, for the first time. The young boy desperately needed a nap and hung his pouting face in his folded arms. It took 15 minutes, but Fascia finally got Amir to laugh.
Eight years later, the pair continues to laugh … all the while cementing a relationship that is every bit as much brotherhood as mentorship.
A public and community service studies minor as an undergraduate at Providence College, Fascia was honored for his extraordinary relationship with Amir by being chosen the 2014 National Big Brother of the Year. The New Jersey representative in the national pool, he was selected from among 31 state winners. Those state winners were chosen from Big Brothers Big Sisters’ 340 local chapters, serving about 200,000 children nationwide.
“The last reason you do this is for accolades,” said a humble Fascia, the father of two and a director of executive searches in the pharmaceutical industry. “I was more excited when I won the regional award because those people really know me.”
Relationship grew steadily
His Big Brothers journey began eight years ago when Fascia mentioned to his wife, Tracey, that he wanted to get back into some type of community service. A volunteer on various service projects in high school, he had participated in Urban Action and PC Pals all four years while studying at the College.
Tracey, who taught kindergarten, told her husband she was concerned about one of her students, a “great kid” who lacked a strong male influence and role model, and whom she’d referred to Big Brothers Big Sisters. Fascia applied to become a mentor, and Amir and he were eventually matched as Big Brother and Little Brother.
The synergy between Fascia and Amir grew naturally, to the point where the youngster spends every major holiday and many family vacations with the Fascias, who live in Randolph. The two play tennis and golf together, attend professional sporting events like WrestleMania and Yankees’ and Jets’ games with Fascia’s father and brother, and share a common joy of cooking, particularly for holiday meals.
“Amir … has made a family that’s already filled with so much joy and love even better.” —Thomas J. Fascia ’03
Fascia also has attended Amir’s school- and sports-related functions, including concerts, plays, and football games, and has met with teachers and counselors on Amir’s behalf at his schools.
Amir actually took his first plane ride in June when the two flew to Chicago with Amir’s great aunt, Joan, to attend a gala hosted by Big Brothers Big Sisters, where Amir met Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx, national spokesperson for the mentoring organization.
It was also through his Big Brother that Amir experienced another first — seeing the ocean.
Despite their full work and school schedules, Fascia and Amir get together about once a week for two or three hours. Their associations are not always recreational. Fascia believes — and Aunt Joan fully concurs — that it’s important for the 14-year-old to develop responsibility and accountability. The two frequently tackle small work projects, like painting Amir’s room and hanging a TV on a wall.
“I’m trying to do more activities, expose him to more real-world experiences and tools … to get him to think about a career,” said Fascia, who noted Amir likes computers and technology in general and does audio-visual work at his church.
Amir is open-minded, agreeable, and “very comfortable with himself,” making it easy to do just about anything, said Fascia. Similarly, Fascia said, he is that way with his friends, though he prefers not to be the center of attention when they’re together, whether it be lunchtime at school or just enjoying each other’s company and conversation.
“He’s very good socially with his friends. … He’s the quietest one, but he’s friends with everyone, even the ‘popular’ kids,” said Fascia. “Amir is appreciative of everything he has; he’s very even-keeled and never wants for anything.”
Learned importance of service from parents
Fascia said his sense of purpose and service comes from his parents. His mother taught and tutored for 38 years, and his father coached his and his brother’s sports teams for more than a decade. As a high school student, his experience volunteering stirred a liking for service, and he chose PC largely because of its reputation as an institution that gives back.
Still, his participation in Urban Action his freshman year was his first “in-depth” volunteer experience. He liked it so much that he returned as a program leader and twice as a coordinator during the next three years. He also volunteered with PC Pals, a mentoring program that matches PC students with inner-city schoolchildren, and followed a similar path, becoming a coordinator as a senior.
A health policy and management major, Fascia said he considers his major, and now his career in the pharmaceutical industry with Cornerstone Search Group, as affirmations in his belief of helping others.
As much of an impact as he has had on Amir, Fascia said the relationship between the two has profoundly influenced him.
“It’s changed me in the sense of really understanding children at a fundamental level and what they need to be good people. Amir doesn’t have a lot, but he’s just as good a kid as other children,” said Fascia, adding that their friendship has caused him to reflect on his relationship with his children, Michael, 2½, and Eliana, 10 months.
In fact, Fascia considers Amir a member of his own family, and further, as a brother. He pointed out that the teen knows his entire family and spends all the holidays with them.
“Amir has taught me so much,” he told Big Brothers Big Sisters. “He’s just the greatest kid in the world and has made a family that’s already filled with so much joy and love even better.”
